our schedules dramatically shifted in March 2020, with added complexity for those of us who coparent. It happened so Suddenly, so unexpectedly, what were we supposed to do? Since then, we’ve scrambled to figure out overnights, virtual classes, and child care (or lack there of).
Last month, a co-parenting friend and I shared notes about our experiences. She’s new to this and has a toddler. I’m an old hand with a ten year old. I wanted to compare notes and see if there is something we can teach each other. What I saw is that we’re doing completely different things with our time, but our need to adjust the schedule in order to accommodate our workdays and keep ourselves sane looks fairly similar.
For example, we both chose to have our son’s stay with their dad an extra night to reduce the back and forth, and to give us time to work and prepare for what’s next. I definitely eased up on the technology restrictions, and she takes advantage of nap time, and gives him the tools to engage in independent play (with trucks, blocks, etc).
Before quarantine, I thought I had it figured out. The schedules have been set for 8 years, adjusting for vacations and random events, we can always default to the contract. But today, defaulting to the contract looks very different. Going between two homes is never easy. Now, we’re not a 10 minute walk, we’re a 30 minute drive. The schedule doesn’t make sense anymore. Where’s the “pandemic clause?”
The good news is that with quarenting, being forced to assess the best schedule for our child (without lawyers), comes an opportunity to improve our coparenting relationship and find better ways to communicate. It’s a chance to reflect on our goals, re-evaluate our circumstances, and restructure how we co/parent.
Let’s discover how this can work, and find our silver lining.
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