Even when we split, we’re partners for the long haul. Coparenting is a form of partnership, with a united vision of raising happy, well-adjusted children. When couples can openly discuss their problems, they might decide to stay together. So, have these conversations early!
Listen to the other parent. Ask open-ended questions like, “what are you thinking…”, “how do you see things working out…”). Start a dialogue of what coparenting might look like. What might the schedule look like? How might your parent together? These conversations should happen before you sign the lease of your apartment. What will parenting look like if you move to separate homes? Make a conscious choice to work together as parents, even if you don’t want anything else to do with the other parent.
There are reasons these conversations may never take place. Perhaps, problems have been piling up for years or a betrayal in trust makes it hard to communicate — a hint of a custody discussion results in screaming and slamming doors. In this case, you can try a remote conversation and bringing in a counselor or even someone who is close to both of you. A subjective, professional viewpoint can help buffer arguments and open up the first set of custody conversations, saving you pain and money that would go to your lawyers.
